+=head2 ZOOM::event()
+
+B<Warning: lark's vomit. Do not read this.>
+
+ $which = ZOOM::event([ $conn1, $conn2, $conn3 ]);
+
+Used only in complex asynchronous applications, this function takes a
+reference to a list of Connection objects, waits until an event
+occurs on any one of them, and returns an integer indicating which of
+the connections it occurred on. The return value is a 1-based index
+into the list; 0 is returned if no event occurs within the longest
+timeout specified by the C<timeout> options of all the connections.
+
+B<This function is not yet implemented.>
+